Waiting for the NFL to Start

Waiting for the NFL to Start by Utter-Fantasy writer & illustrator Doug Bowles

Is it me, or does it seem like it’s already been a year…since we saw our last regular season NFL game?

No matter how many times I wave my hands in the air and yell…”Come on already”…it’s not getting here any faster.

Because it’s not, I have been forced to invent activities that relate to the NFL in various odd ways.

I share these with you, because I know I am not the only NFL and fantasy football fanatic out there struggling to cope.




Activity #1) Watch 2015 highlights of Mike Evans and take a shot of whiskey every time he drops a pass ( Especially fun game because Evans had more drops than any other NFL wide receiver last year).




Activity #2) You know the NFL acronym…”Not For Long”…well, I am writing my own NFL acronyms…starting with …”Need Fritos Later”




Activity #3) Climb up my step ladder, and jump off while spiking a football, pretending that I am Gronk.




Activity #4) I do the “Ickey Shuffle’ whenever the mail comes early.




Activity #5) I am trying to master the DET HC Jim Caldwell’s expression…the one that looks like he is witnessing a house going up in flames.



Discount doublecheck

Activity #6) I discount double-check every sale purchased item from my Price Chopper supermarket.




Activity #7) I am deflating the air in my tires for a few months, to see if it gives me an advantage in rush hour traffic.




Activity #8) Stockpiled “Skittles”…to give me the energy I need to run to the refrigerator when I need another beer.




Activity #9) Have my family “boo me” any time I enter the room.




Activity #10) I’ve failed 8 tests so far for PEDs.



If you are suffering like I am, I hope these ideas help. They are helping me…they really are.

You’re Welcome.