Guest UncleOdds 4 Player Profiles

Guest UncleOdds 4 Player Profiles by Utter-Fantasy Writer & Illustrator Doug Bowles

Utter-Fantasy welcomes fantasy football extraordinaire RotoUncleOdds as a guest writer this week, sharing with us four player profiles.
TB QB Jameis Winston tops his “Dynasty Profile” list, followed by ARI RB David Johnson, OAK WR Amari Cooper and WASH TE Jordan Reed. Enjoy “the Uncle’s” insight into these players and why he likes them for the upcoming season.

Utter-Fantasy thanks RotoUncleOdds for his generosity.
Please follow the him on Twitter- @RotoUncleOdds

 

Quarterback Jameis Winston-

Jameis Winston 2015 Passing Stats

SEASON TEAM GP CMP ATT YDS TD
2015 TB 16 312 535 4,042 22

 

UncleOdds Projections 2016 Jameis Winston Passing

SEASON TEAM GP CMP ATT YDS TD
2015 TB 16 340 560 4,165 26

 

Jameis Winston, like most rookies, had good and bad performances last season. Following a very poor Week 1 performance, his game level began to evolve. Winston finished the season with an overall grade that ranked 13th among quarterbacks and earned him PFF’s Rookie of the Year award. As the the season went on, Winston improved dramatically, ranking 8th over the final seven weeks of 2016. When the young rookie was not pressured, he had the 8th-highest passing grade in the league. This is a margin spot where he can still improve. With time to build chemistry, I see a very strong, dynamic duo forming with WR Mike Evans for 2016. I have Winston as my 6th ranked dynasty QB. He has young hungry Bucs around him, which includes Evans, RB Doug Martin (who finished 2nd rushing yards with 1402 yards), RB Charles Sims, TE Austin Seferian-Jenkins, and rookie WR Kenny Bell. It’s a team-base of young, incredibly talented players, who can be successful together in the NFL for years to come. Winston was in “learning mode” last season, and I see him developing into one of the better quarterbacks in the future.

 

Running Back David Johnson-

David Johnson 2015 Rushing Stats

SEASON TEAM GP ATT YDS AVG LNG TD
2015 ARI 16 125 581 4.6 47 8

 

UncleOdds Projections 2016 David Johnson Rushing

SEASON TEAM GP ATT YDS AVG LNG TD
2015 ARI 16 256 1190 4.6 —- 9

 

Johnson ranked #1? Why Johnson over Gurley or Bell?  My decision is not based on stats or data like most of my calls in fantasy football, but rather on my gut intuition. There’s no doubt Gurley and Bell have proven themselves as two of the best RBs in the league, with both having better averages (Bell 4.9 and Gurley 4.8) than Johnson and both can be used as receivers. Gurley and Bell are amazing, but guess what…so is David Johnson! Drafted in 2015, Johnson didn’t have an important role in the first 11 weeks of the season, and it wasn’t until Week 12 that Johnson got his first start. He then held the starting job for the rest of the season, gaining a league-best 131.7 yards per game from scrimmage during that time.

My point on Johnson is that his situation may allow him to stay healthy/ healthier for the next few seasons! If you can stop Todd Gurley, you stop the Rams. How much punishment will Gurley receive and how much will he be able to take? With a rookie quarterback, the Rams offense will depend on Gurley alot, and for 2016, this could be a “one man wolf-pack’’. Le’Veon on the other hand, is coming off from a MCL torn season-ending injury, and most players don’t come back at the same level that they left prior to the injury. David Johnson has a strong Cardinal’s offense around him, so he doesn’t have to carry the team’s offense on his shoulders and he won’t be taking as much punishment as Gurley and Bell. I see a healthier player in Johnson for the upcoming season and beyond, which makes him my #1 dynasty running back.

I look forward to sitting in my mancave when the 2016 season starts watching which one of these 3 great backs, does in fact, becomes #1 for 2016 and also how these 3 continue to develop into their best potential.

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Wide Receiver Amari Cooper-

Amari Cooper 2015 Receiving Stats

SEASON TEAM GP REC TGTS YDS AVG LNG TD
2015 OAK 16 72 130 1,070 14.9 68 6

 

UncleOdds Projections 2016 Amari Cooper Receiving

SEASON TEAM GP REC TGTS YDS AVG LNG TD
2015 OAK 16 80 147 1,192 14.9 —– 8

 

Amari Cooper is a player with amazing speed/acceleration who stays at the top of his routes, and who has owned the post route. Cooper, in his first season in Oakland, developed great chemistry with Derek Carr early on, hauling in 72 passes for 1,070 yards and six touchdowns. In 2015, he was targeted 130 times! The former Alabama star added another feat to his outstanding rookie season by amassing the most receptions by a wide receiver, 21 years old or younger, in NFL history. Cooper also became the first Oakland rookie wide receiver to reach 1,000 receiving yards.

Targeting his favorite weapon often, OAK QB Carr’s passer rating improved from 76.6 to 91.1 last season, ending 2015 with 3,987 yards and 32 touchdowns. In only his 2nd year in the league, Carr had had to learn two different systems.  “I think it helps that he doesn’t have to learn a new language again,” OC Bill Musgrave said of Derek. Carr is a quaterback on the rise and the Raiders have the right tools to be a great offensive team, with WR Michael Crabtree, RB Latavius Murray, and new addition RB DeAndre Washington. Washington was selected by Oakland in the 5th round of the 2016 NFL Draft and will be a nice compliment to RB Murray. I have high expectations for him, particularly in dynasty leagues. All these weapons that the Raiders have offensively will only make young Amari a better player.

 

Tight End Jordan Reed-

Jordan Reed 2015 Receiving Stats

SEASON TEAM GP REC TGTS YDS AVG LNG TD
2015 WSH 14 87 114 952 10.9 32 11

 

UncleOdds Projections 2015 Jordan Reed Receiving

SEASON TEAM GP REC TGTS YDS AVG LNG TD
2015 WSH 16 80 108 948 11.8 —– 9

 

In previous years, the tight end position was Gronk and then the rest. Thankfully for the NFL and fantasy football, we now we have a lot more  names to talk about, i.e Greg Olsen, Tyler Eifert, Jordan Reed, Gary Barnidge, Travis Kelce, Delanie Walker, and Zach Ertz. ( I apologize if I left out your favorite!) I personally love Reed and at only 25 years old (Gronk 27), he made 87 catches in 2015 for 952 yards and 11 touchdowns, making him Washington’s leading receiver last season. Reed is a tight end but his production is similar to that of a wide receiver. He is very dangerous on a lot of routes, and he is worth gold in the red zone. It might interest you to know that Reed not only played his collegiate career as a tight end, but also as a wide receiver and even as quarterback.  Jordan Reed- “Honestly, I feel like playing quarterback helped me out a lot – knowing which guys were going to cover me, being able to read the defense, things like that”. Jordan Reed is sitting out minicamp after suffering an ankle injury, but the Uncle says to draft Reed with confidence. Currently ranked as my #2 dynasty TE.

 

Guest UncleOdds 2016 Dynasty Rankings

Guest UncleOdds 2016 Dynasty Rankings by Utter-Fantasy Writer & Illustrator Doug Bowles

 

Utter-Fantasy welcomes fantasy football extraordinaire RotoUncleOdds as a guest writer this week, sharing with us his 2016 Dynasty Rankings.
CAR QB Cam Newton tops his “Dynasty Quarterback” Board, while ARI RB David Johnson, NYG WR Odell Beckham Jr and NE TE Rob Gronkowski top his “Dynasty Running Back, Wide Receiver and Tight End” boards respectively.

Utter-Fantasy thanks RotoUncleOdds for his generosity.
Please follow the him on Twitter- @RotoUncleOdds

UncleOdds Dynasty Rankings 2016
Rank QB Rank RB Rank WR Rank TE
1 Cam Newton CAR 1 David Johnson ARI 1 Odell Beckham Jr. NYG 1 Rob Gronkowski NE
2 Andrew Luck IND 2 Le’Veon Bell PIT 2 DeAndre Hopkins HOU 2 Jordan Reed WAS
3 Russell Wilson SEA 3 Todd Gurley LA 3 Julio Jones ATL 3 Tyler Eifert CIN
4 Aaron Rodgers GB 4 Devonta Freeman ATL 4 Antonio Brown PIT 4 Greg Olsen CAR
5 Marcus Mariota TEN 5 Ezekiel Elliott DAL 5 Allen Robinson JAC 5 Travis Kelce KC
6 Jameis Winston TB 6 Lamar Miller HOU 6 Amari Cooper OAK 6 Zach Ertz PHI
7 Derek Carr OAK 7 Doug Martin TB 7 Sammy Watkins BUF 7 Eric Ebron DET
8 Blake Bortles JAC 8 Dion Lewis NE 8 Dez Bryant DAL 8 Julius Thomas JAC
9 Ben Roethlisberger PIT 9 Mark Ingram NO 9 Alshon Jeffery CHI 9 Austin Seferian-Jenkins TB
10 Tom Brady NE 10 Carlos Hyde SF 10 Mike Evans TB 10 Ladarius Green PIT
11 Philip Rivers SD 11 T.J. Yeldon JAC 11 A.J. Green CIN 11 Delanie Walker TEN
12 Drew Brees NO 12 C.J. Anderson DEN 12 Keenan Allen SD 12 Jimmy Graham SEA
13 Matt Ryan ATL 13 Eddie Lacy GB 13 Brandin Cooks NO 13 Coby Fleener NO
14 Andy Dalton CIN 14 Thomas Rawls SEA 14 T.Y. Hilton IND 14 Gary Barnidge CLE
15 Teddy Bridgewater MIN 15 Adrian Peterson MIN 15 Devante Parker MIA 15 Maxx Williams BAL
16 Ryan Tannehill MIA 16 Jamaal Charles KC 16 Laquon Treadwell MIN 16 Hunter Henry SD
17 Jared Goff LA 17 Derrick Henry TEN 17 Randall Cobb GB 17 Dwayne Allen IND
18 Tyrod Taylor BUF 18 Kenneth Dixon BAL 18 Demaryius Thomas DEN 18 Charles Clay BUF
19 Matthew Stafford DET 19 Melvin Gordon SD 19 Jarvis Landry MIA 19 Clive Walford OAK
20 Carson Wentz PHI 20 Duke Johnson CLE 20 Corey Coleman CLE 20 Kyle Rudolph MIN
21 Kirk Cousins WAS 21 Ameer Abdullah DET 21 Kevin White CHI 21 Antonio Gates SD
22 Eli Manning NYG 22 Jay Ajayi MIA 22 Dorial Green-Beckham TEN 22 Jordan Cameron MIA
23 Paxton Lynch DEN 23 Giovani Bernard CIN 23 Josh Doctson WAS 23 Martellus Bennett NE
24 Carson Palmer ARI 24 LeSean McCoy BUF 24 Donte Moncrief IND 24 Jace Amaro NYJ
25 Tony Romo DAL 25 Jeremy Hill CIN 25 Brandon Marshall NYJ 25 Jared Cook GB
26 Brock Osweiler HOU 26 Latavius Murray OAK 26 Michael Floyd ARI 26 Austin Hooper ATL
27 Joe Flacco BAL 27 DeMarco Murray TEN 27 Jordy Nelson GB 27 Jason Witten DAL
28 Colin Kaepernick SF 28 Karlos Williams BUF 28 Kelvin Benjamin CAR 28 MyCole Pruitt MIN
29 Jay Cutler CHI 29 Jeremy Langford CHI 29 Allen Hurns JAC 29 Richard Rodgers GB
30 Alex Smith KC 30 Matt Jones WAS 30 Eric Decker NYJ 30 Tyler Higbee LA
31 Robert Griffin CLE 31 C.J. Prosise SEA 31 Breshad Perriman BAL 31 Thomas Duarte MIA
32 Ryan Fitzpatrick FA 32 Matt Forte NYJ 32 John Brown ARI 32 Vance McDonald SF
33 Charles Sims TB 33 Sterling Shepard NYG
34 Tevin Coleman ATL 34 Jeremy Maclin KC
35 Devontae Booker DEN 35 Tyler Lockett SEA
36 Jerick McKinnon MIN 36 Julian Edelman NE
37 DeAndre Washington OAK 37 Jordan Matthews PHI
38 Ryan Mathews PHI 38 Michael Thomas NO
39 Jordan Howard CHI 39 Golden Tate DET
40 Charkandrick West KC 40 Emmanuel Sanders DEN
41 Jonathan Stewart CAR 41 Michael Crabtree OAK
42 Isaiah Crowell CLE 42 Stefon Diggs MIN
43 Kenyan Drake MIA 43 Josh Gordon CLE
44 Javorius Allen BAL 44 Doug Baldwin SEA
45 Theo Riddick DET 45 Will Fuller HOU
46 Jonathan Williams BUF 46 Tyler Boyd CIN
47 Keith Marshall WAS 47 DeSean Jackson WAS
48 Danny Woodhead SD 48 Devin Funchess CAR
49 Paul Perkins NYG 49 Leonte Carroo MIA
50 Keith Marshall WAS 50 Nelson Agholor PHI
51 Jonathan Williams BUF 51 Marvin Jones DET
52 Chris Ivory JAC 52 Martavis Bryant PIT
53 Wendell Smallwood PHI 53 Sammie Coates PIT
54 Alfred Morris DAL 54 Phillip Dorsett IND
55 Tyler Ervin HOU 55 Tavon Austin LA
56 Chris Thompson WAS 56 Willie Snead NO
57 Bilal Powell NYJ 57 Torrey Smith SF
58 James Starks GB 58 Travis Benjamin SD
59 Justin Forsett BAL 59 Davante Adams GB
60 Andre Ellington ARI 60 Kenny Bell TB
61 Rashad Jennings NYG 61 Pharoh Cooper LA
62 Shane Vereen NYG 62 Rishard Matthews TEN
63 Frank Gore IND 63 Larry Fitzgerald ARI
64 C.J. Spiller NO 64 Kendall Wright TEN
65 Ronnie Hillman DEN 65 Braxton Miller HOU
66 Darren McFadden DAL 66 Chris Conley KC
67 David Cobb TEN 67 Jamison Crowder WAS
68 Spencer Ware KC 68 Malcolm Mitchell NE
69 Tre Mason LA 69 Jaelen Strong HOU
70 Cameron Artis-Payne CAR 70 Ty Montgomery GB

Three Food Tiers of NFL Quarterbacks

Three Food Tiers of NFL Quarterbacks by Utter-Fantasy Writer Cambrick Broady

 

Three Food Tiers of NFL Quarterbacks: “Filet Mignon”, “Buffalo Wings” and “Just order a cheap Pizza”

Many fans, analysts, writers and regular people debate often about the 32 teams in the NFL being good or bad and the #1 selling point on your argument typically revolves around the quarterback.  There are a few teams every year that can overcome with shaky quarterback play with their dominant running backs, wide receivers or defenses but eventually that will catch up to you….(unless you are the 2015 Denver Broncos!)
Hopefully you are at least “Buffalo Wings” if you’re starting for a team in the NFL. So why are there so many “cheap pizza” QBs you wonder? Well, GM’s have been trying to figure that one out since the league started, and if you know they answer, let every GM, fantasy football fanatic and delivery man know.. In the meantime- here’s my breakdown of the 32 teams quarterbacks currently sitting at the top of their depth chart, who are either “Filet Mignon, Buffalo Wings and Just order a cheap Pizza”, along with commentary and fantasy projections for the first two.

“Filet Mignon and Sipping your favorite Red Wine”

1.    Tom Brady QB New England Patriots; putting the golden boy shouldn’t get any back lash on any social media site or grumble in your random sports bar. If you’re a New England fan, the sound of his name is like someone just offered you a tall glass of water in the middle of the desert. If you’re a Jets, Dolphins or Bills fan his name probably strikes that nerve of someone’s kid in the store that just WON’T SHUT UP! There aren’t many players in the Kobe/Jordan/Russell category…you know those guys who’ve won 4 or more titles for the franchise that drafted them. Fantasy Projection: Round 4-5; yes, I know he’s suspended 4 games but when he comes back it’s business as usual.

2.    Aaron Rodgers QB – Green Bay Packers; you know you’re good when your TD celebration becomes the entire storyline of an insurance commercial. Well, he’s as good as advertised and Packer fans will make sure you know it. He makes all WR’s better and with a stable running game, the Packers will compete every year with him at the helm. Fantasy Projection: Round 2-3; should be no argument here, he’s been a solid fantasy starter for years.

3.    Ben Roethlisberger QB – Pittsburgh Steelers; I’m sure some Steelers fans cringed when they drafted him in 2004 out of Miami, Ohio. Ask that same fan now, how they feel now about his career 94% passer rating and 2 Super Bowl rings? They’ve always got championship written all over them and with a healthy running game, the usual Pittsburgh fan has ammo in any fan smack talk. Fantasy Projection: Round 4-5; I think you should be taking him earlier than I saw in last year’s drafts as he will be throwing a lot to Antonio Brown and that says enough.

4.    Drew Brees QB – New Orleans; has some of the best pocket presence you’ll see and does a great job reading defenses, one of those QBs where it doesn’t matter the receiver out there as long as they can catch. He gave the city of New Orleans a championship when they needed it most and has a guaranteed fantasy sleeper WR on his roster every year. Fantasy Projection: Round 4-5; I’m scared to say his numbers may drop this year considering he’s got a new target in Michael Thomas and Brees normally makes all receivers look good.

5.    Russell Wilson QB – Seattle Seahawks; Every year in the playoffs, one Super Bowl under his belt, and he’s done this without a true #1 WR.  (doesn’t hurt to have a stout defense behind you) Want to argue him being Filet Mignon? Well, his passing yards have increased each year, he hasn’t thrown more than 10 interceptions in any year and he is a dual threat. Case closed. Fantasy Projection: Round 5-6;

6.    Cam Newton QB – Carolina Panthers; 2015’s NFL MVP showed sustained improvement in his footwork and decision making. He led the Panthers to the Super Bowl without a legit #1 receiver…wow! The challenge now is consistency and keeping his demeanor in check, I like the guy personally and his new custom ride is pretty nice. He gets Kelvin Benjamin back this season as well. Fantasy Projection: Round 2-3; last year a guy won my league by picking up Newton as a FA. That won’t happen this year, take him in the top 5 if you want and I won’t blink an eye.

7.  Matt Ryan QB – Atlanta Falcons; he’s been in the top 5 for NFL passing yards every year since 2012 (bet you didn’t know that). His first NFL pass was a TD and it was a dart that he read instantly. He’s got good footwork and has been putting up career numbers behind an under-performing offensive line for a few years. Signing C Alex Mack and WR Mohamed Sanu will give Ryan an edge going into this season. Fantasy Projection: Round 5-6; you may want to take him earlier than normal this year, he’s got intriguing new weapons.

8.    Andrew Luck QB – Indianapolis Colts; I’m admire him honesty and he didn’t have the best season last year by any means. He actually looked as if he regressed (I know he was injured) which I know was scary for Colts fans. Don’t worry however, this talented QB will bounce back this year. His skillset of passing accuracy, strength and running ability will allow him to get back on track. You don’t write off Luck after one bad season. In my league he was drafted #1 overall because of his spectacular 2014 season ( #1 QB) ; and expectations were that he could take the Colts deep in the playoffs. Now one must be concerned because his division has seriously improved. Fantasy Projection: Round 3-4; he should come back on a vengeance and could be in line for comeback player of the year.

9.    Tony Romo QB – Dallas Cowboys; You can blast me on twitter all you want for listing Romo as a QB that should have a spoon of herb flavored brown butter right over the top…but tell me that the NFC East teams aren’t scared to play the Cowboys this year with a healthy Romo and Elliott in the backfield. If you aren’t, you haven’t been paying attention to football. He has the accuracy, he also has the command you like and his OL is the best in football. He has to minimize the turnovers though. Fantasy Projection: Round 6-7; he’s got all kinds of weapons in this offense and will be serviceable but I understand if you want to proceed with caution due to his injury history.

10.    Eli Manning QB – New York Giants; Listen, I don’t want to hear it at all. He’s a hot and cold type of QB but has won 2 Super Bowls and I’ll bet your favorite QB hasn’t won any. I’ll agree he’s the bottom Filet Mignon on my list. He makes great reads and if the Giants can get his guy a running game, the NFC East will have serious competition. Fantasy Projection: Round 7-8; I have to be realistic with his fantasy projection, even with a dynamic OBJ, he just hasn’t been as reliable in fantasy. I predict a comeback this year so take in round 6 with confidence.

“Buffalo Wings and a Sam Adams”

1.     Carson Palmer QB – Arizona Cardinals. Fantasy Projection: Round 7-8; he’s a bargain pick this year
2.    Blake Bortles QB – Jacksonville Jaguars. Fantasy Projection: Round 7-8; #3 QB in 2015…great new defense
3.    Matthew Stafford QB – Detroit Lions Fantasy Projection: Round 8-9; worst rushing average per attempt in the NFL…and Megatron retired.
4.    Joe Flacco QB – Baltimore Ravens. Fantasy Projection: 9-10 What weapons does he have? I’ll wait.
5.    Kirk Cousins QB – Washington Redskins. Fantasy Projection: Round 9-10; no RB, forced to pass a lot
6.    Andy Dalton QB – Cincinnati Bengals. Fantasy Projection: Round 10+; proceed with caution
7.    Phillip Rivers QB – San Diego Chargers. Fantasy Projection: Round 10+; who are his WR’s?
8.    Derek Carr QB – Oakland Raiders. Fantasy Projection: Round 10+; he will improve this year, but RB??
9.    Jamies Winston QB – Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fantasy Projection: Round 10+; needs more passing yards
10.    Marcus Mariota QB – Tennessee Titans. Fantasy Projection: Round 10+; new RB’s will really help him

These quarterbacks are good and on any given Sunday, they can be “really good”. If any of these guys are your teams quarterback, you can go into the season with a great deal of optimism. • Many of you feel Carson Palmer is Filet Mignon and I will argue that all day otherwise,and show you the tape of him playing in Oakland. He’s good because he doesn’t lose the game for you, but Arizona was a top 3 defense and as long as you don’t turn the ball over; that’ll keep you in games. • Blake Bortles makes the list because he was the #3 QB in the NFL last year, his progression has been impressive and he has made Robinson and Hurns red hot receivers who none us knew about before last season. • Matthew Stafford has been a adequate fantasy football quarterback, but has he been an adequate NFL quarterback? • I know Joe Flacco won a Super Bowl and is the only QB on this list to have done so, but I’m just not sold on him being more than good Buffalo Wings. Give Matt Ryan the defense that Flacco had that year with Ray Lewis and Ed Reed and the Falcons might be 2 Super Bowls deep by now. The best QBs overcome a bad OL, no WR’s, no RB’s and still have good productive and competitive seasons. • Kirk Cousins was the sole reason the Washington Redhot Sauces won their division. • The only QB that I see possibly getting bumped down next year is Andy Dalton; he’s shown flashes of being really good and shown flashes of being really bad. He did not play in the post-season last year which hurt their team and the NFL window shortens each season. • In 2013, Phillip Rivers QB was the #6 QB in the NFL, 2014 he was #9 and 2015 he was #10. I can see the downward trend continuing. • Derek Carr needs to be careful with his decision making, considering his division is full of strong defenses outside of San Diego. • Some may look at the list and say “Jamies Winston and Marcus Mariota….really?” But after this year, they will back off that statement as they pass the celery and bleu cheese. Marcus Mariota could find himself with a solid running game this year but his defense will need to hold up. Jamies Winston impressed me at times last season and he’s got a good WR and RB.

“Just order a cheap Pizza with a free Mountain Dew”

1.    Alex Smith QB – Kansas City Chiefs.
2.    Jay Cutler QB – Chicago Bears
3.    Sam Bradford QB – Philadelphia Eagles
4.    Colin Kaepernick QB – San Francisco 49ers
5.    Mark Sanchez QB – Denver Broncos
6.    Nick Foles QB – LA Rams
7.    Brock Osweiler QB – Houston Texans
8.    Ryan Tannehill QB – Miami Dolphins
9.    Tyrod Taylor QB – Buffalo Bills
10.    Teddy Bridgewater QB – Minnesota Vikings
11.    Robert Griffin III QB – Cleveland Browns
12.    Geno Smith/Ryan Fitz QB – New York Jets

I’ll get some flack about a few of these guys I’m sure. • Alex Smith has silenced plenty of doubters after the 49ers gave up on him for Kaepernick (and who knows, they may still be kicking themselves). • Jay Cutler hasn’t been good despite having decent weapons in Forte, Bennett and Jeffrey, who some see as a top 5 WR. Cutler might be the worst QB inside the red-zone in the NFL. • Sam Bradford has been robbing teams since being drafted, and he reminds me of NBA’s Grant Hill and what he did to many teams, always being hurt. • Colin Kaepernick misses wide open WR’s…I mean WIDE OPEN so enough said there. • Mark Sanchez, ha, I’m sorry but Denver should concede this season or they might think about starting Lynch sooner than later. • I was going to list Jared Goff as average and put a disclosure by it, but I don’t think that’s fair; I’ll give him time to toss a few pies first and Nick Foles is surely average to LA Rams fans. • Brock Osweiler hasn’t shown us much so far but he has the potential to move out of the Little Caesar’s section. • Ryan Tannehill is the QB that the analysts every year say is going to have “a breakout season” but just never does. • Tyrod Taylor really should be a back-up pizza cook; I saw a lot of good routes run by Sammy Watkins with no pass coming his way. Reminds me of how upset Michael Vick used to make his WR’s because they’d get open and wouldn’t have a chance to make a play. • Teddy Bridgewater plays in a “run-first” offense and only threw 14 touchdown passes last season. • Robert Griffin III doesn’t know how to slide and Geno Smith/ Fitz are here because where else are they going to be….and no argument about them being average I’m sure.

Cam Broady

Cambrick Broady is Sports Scout, Fantasy Sports Analyst and a contributing writer for Utter-Fantasy.com. Please follow Cambrick on twitter @cambrickbroady

Also by Utter-Fantasy Writer & Illustrator Cambrick Broady…”The Biggest Makeover from the Draft”

 

Gals Put Their Flare on Fantasy Football

Gals Put Their Flare on Fantasy Football by Utter-Fantasy Writer & Illustrator Doug Bowles

I was chatting with many of my fantasy football friends on twitter, when I saw this “tweet’….”I’m doing a Harry Potter themed fantasy football leagues with my best gal pals, and I am beyond giddy”. I wrote to Kelcy Engstrom and asked “please tell me this really happened!” Kelcy not only told me that it did, but that the girls were planning their next theme…..likely “Mean Girls!”

Fantasy football is already fun, but it’s pretty cool that these gals have put their own twist on their league, to make it even more fun for them. I asked Miss Kelcy, who is a Peace Corps volunteer over seas right now, a few questions about their league, and here’s what she had to say about it.

Utter-Fantasy) Please tell me about your league- How many teams, who is in it and when did it begin?

Kelcy) We are 8 teams and it’s made up of a group of really good friends, most of us met in middle school and then rest became friends during high school and we’ve always kept in touch and remained very close. We started doing a league about 2 years ago, we’re all from Wisconsin except for one unfortunate Bear fan who was born in Illinois but moved to our hometown during middle school so all of us have grown up with the Packers and football as a big part of our lives.

When we got interested in fantasy it made sense that we would all do it with our best friends, to maximize shit talking potential.

 

Utter-Fantasy) When did creating a theme for your fantasy football league start, and how do you determine what the theme will be? Are there suggestions and a vote?

Kelcy) So I really like themes and group activities in general so I kind of forced everyone to go along with it. I picked the Harry Potter one because I’m pretty sure I saw a comment in Reddit talking about a Potter themed fantasy team name and it just struck me a very funny for some reason, also because I know a few gals in the league are INTO Harry Potter in a big way. For example the owner of ‘Weasley’s Wizard Wins’ took her honeymoon at Harry Potter studios while others are not so into it like the owner of ‘Harry’s Dead RIP’ but she still went along with it which is cool.

 

Utter-Fantasy) It is such a fun idea, but how does it work? How was the Harry Potter theme incorporated into the 2015 fantasy football season?

Kelcy) It’s just a standard league set up really, since this was the first time doing a theme we didn’t have many ideas to really customize it so it’s just the team names, my two personal favorites are ‘Two-Patronus Conversion’ and ‘4th and 9 3/4′ with ‘Rita Skeet Skeet Skeeter’ rounding out the top 3. We have it set up on ESPN.

This year I’d probably make up a house cup as the trophy, throw a theme party for the draft, maybe force the points looser that week to give up a bench player to the deatheaters or something. But full disclosure, I’m a bit of a filthy casual the only Harry Potter thing I’m super into is Wizard People, Dear Reader. But I am hoping to read the books eventually.  

 

Utter-Fantasy) Will you share some of the other theme ideas that have been suggested?

Kelcy) We’re probably gonna change it up this year with a new theme, I’m thinking a Mean Girls one would be pretty good, but we also watch a lot of Golden Girls and RuPaul’s Drag Race so that could be fun as well, and we’re all big fans of Beyonce but we’ll see whoever comes up with the best idea.

 

Utter-Fantasy) Do you and your best gal pals get together on game day for some quality Harry Potter/NFL time??

Kelcy) The girls that can still do get together on Sundays to watch football when possible, I’ve been living in Eastern Europe for about 2 years so I haven’t been able to do that for awhile. But sitting around watching football, drinking beer and shit talking in person is something that we all enjoy doing as sister girls

 

I appreciate Miss Kelcy sharing her fantasy football league with me, and I hope the gals venture into a Dynasty Football League! Having a “Dynasty” themed Dynasty Football League is just to good, not to start up!

Dynasty Fantasy football TV

 

Follow Kelcy’s on twitter @MaryKMart to see how she does in her fantasy football league and what theme the gals came up for 2016.

Kelcy fantasy football

This is How We Dynasty Football

This is How We Dynasty Football by Utter-Fantasy Writer & Illustrator Samantha Holt

 

Active in Fantasy Football for 6 years, received 1st Championship in 2015 Season. Token woman of the Sunday Funday League.

Sunday-Funday-league

Six tables are set facing a large white board. Laptops are in place alongside binders filled with copious notes. The room is a buzz with chatter. Shifty glances are exchanged. Monitors with skype callers begin to light, it’s almost time. Owners move to their seats, last minute beers and drinks are made. It’s time, for the Rookie Draft, the first Owner is on the clock. He fields offers for his pick, bidding wars are waged, the decision is made, Amari Cooper is taken first overall in the 2015 Sunday Funday League Rookie Draft.

Sounds a bit intense? Well that’s because it is my friends, if you’re reading this you understand that Fantasy Football is not merely a hobby, it’s a lifestyle. I believe there is no better example of this than in my Dynasty League. That’s a pretty biased statement, but fuck it, it’s my opinion.

The Beginning

Our inaugural season began in 2013, and our Commissioner is the glue that brought us all together. All members had multiple years of experience prior to joining, no newbies, you needed to know your shit to be invited. It was important when this began that if you were to be an owner in this League, you needed to be an active owner. No Tacos in this league (but there are at least 2 Ruxin’s and a definitive Andre). We wanted our league to resemble what real owners deal with in managing a team. We are an Auction, 8 keeper, IDP league; with the ability to trade Free Agency Cash and Rookie Draft Picks. We have a cap for keeper salary going into our auction draft, and a Salary Cap to begin the season. We now also have an in season salary cap. Oh and each player drafted has a set contract you can keep them at their salary for before you have to extend their contract by increasing their salary. Does that sound like a lot? You still following me?

The Details

Each Season begins with our Annual League Rules Meeting that rolls into our Rookie Draft. The Rules Meeting starts out simply enough. This is where we vote on changing any current rules or adding new ones. Straight forward no bullshit, and you can’t say you weren’t aware of a change because we have a binder with a meeting agenda and Google drive documents of the Rules and Changes made during the meetings. To the Rookie Draft! It obviously takes place sometime after the NFL Draft, depending on coordinating the schedules of 12 Owners. There are 3 rounds in the Draft and each owner has a draft pick. Top 6 picks are picked at random amongst teams with worst records from the previous season. What makes the Draft more fun however is that we’re allowed to trade our picks. So goes the bidding war for those who ended up with multiple picks. Rookies are valuable because they’re drafted at set low salaries with 3 year contracts (ex: 1st Round: $5, 2nd Round: $3, 3rd Round $1).

Draft Day

Auction draft is held at a location decided on by the winner of the previous year. Last year it was held at the Palazzo in Las Vegas, in Lagasse’s Stadium. If you want to do a draft party in Vegas that’s the place to go. They have package deals where you can have a private suite with multiple TVs pool table and waiters that constantly and quickly bring drinks and great food. It was a sweet draft, needless to say we were all destroyed afterwards, worth it. We have a max of 8 keepers and their salaries combined must be $200 or less. Max Salary to start the season is $300. This may seem high, but keep in mind this fantasy football league is based on the idea that this is a marathon not a sprint. WE can make moves that will benefit over several years or make moves for the immediate. We each strategize our own ways but it’s a system designed to fit the Owner’s needs.

Shenanigans

The number one thing we get the most positive feedback from is that fact that we hold an Awards Ceremony at the end of every season. Our Commissioner painstakingly puts together the Awards packet with nominees for each category and each owner submits their votes to the Commissioner for counting. He then has awards made with the category and winners names engraved. The ceremony itself has written monologues for the host, speeches for the presenters, songs written & recorded for the winning teams to walk up to, friends are invited to the exclusive guest list, and there are video interviews for the nominees of the “big award” of the night, Team of the Year. The answer to your next question is: Yes, we do have too much time on our hands and spend a lot of money on something that is purely for fun. Why? Because it’s fun and we’re awesome, what better reason do you need?! The ceremony is a red carpet affair. We literally bought our own red carpet and had a back drop made (with logos I designed) for photos with the photographer we hired for the event. *insert gif of Lil’ Jon throwing money here*

Dynasty Leagues are complicated. Ours is no exception. However, if we didn’t have this league set up the way we do, we wouldn’t be able to reap all the benefits that fantasy football has to offer. This has turned the game into a year round sport for us. So while some of you are patiently waiting for next season to get close enough to mock draft efficiently. I’m watching the Combine and reading player stats to prep for the rookie draft. #Boom.

Samantha Holt

Follow Sam’s 2016 quest for another Dynasty Fantasy Football championships on twitter @SamanthaRHolt