About Utter-Fantasy Football by Utter-Fantasy Writer & Illustrator Doug Bowles
1987. There was one game on TV. Kansas City Chiefs vs the Los Angeles Raiders. I didn’t have anyone playing. I almost got Raider Craig Ellis, who had a big game, but Hotujac freakin’ took him right before my pick. I swear he read my mind. So now I am hoping that the RB I ended up getting, did well on Sunday, Pittsburgh Steeler Earnest Jackson. I won’t know until Monday however, when I walk up to the corner gas station and get a newspaper out of the vending box. That’s how it went back then. Watch what little you could on Sunday, then check the newspaper Monday morning ( and even then you didn’t know how you did the league, because the letter from the commish, who added up all the scores each week, wouldn’t come in the mail, until Friday.)
You young punks out there are so spoiled now. Scores rolling across ESPN every minute, instant updates on CBS Sportsline and countless APPs. In 1987, your Sunday Ticket was to see Lethal Weapon at 1:00 pm at the Cinema. Of coarse, you young punks helped to make FF as popular as it is right now, so kiss my butt for being spoiled and thank you for playing.
And unlike most of you young punks, I happen to be in a position where I can retire (a little) and spend some of my time now, doing what I love. I have 4 loves actually, and they are the NFL football, talking about NFL football, fantasy football (FF) and art. (Drinking alcoholic beverages should be listed in there somewhere, but I am trying to be a better roll model.) Put all these together, and you get a new fantasy football website. Sure, there already are some, but with my buddy Phil E. Stake, we think there’s room for another. A better one, Utter-fantasy.com. A site barely alive. But gentleman, we can build it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic fantasy football website. Better, stronger, faster. (OK, maybe not bionic or faster, but funnier…definitely funnier)
We are not all chuckles and grins however. I take my FF very serious as well. I have won more leagues than I have lost, and I think that what I have to say might help you and your teams. I also think that I can learn something from all of you as well, so together, lets kick some ass.