2015 Utter-Fantasy Football Award Show by Utter-Fantasy writer & illustrator Doug “Victorious” Bowles
Another great season is in the books. Some of us are hoisting trophies, while others are anguishing over some of their early decisions like drafting RB Montee Ball in the 1st round (against my pre-season advice) As always, the NFL gives us a gamut of personalities and surprises, which must be celebrated in our 1st Annual Fantasy Award Show
The first Award actually goes to 12 amazing rookie wide receivers that aren’t suppose to impact the NFL in their 1st year, but DID
• The “I Got This” Award goes to: Odell Beckham Jr, Kelvin Benjamin, Sammy Watkins, Brandon Cooks, Jarvis Landry, Jordan Matthews, Martavis Bryant, Marqise Lee, Davanta Adams, Allen Robinson, Donte Moncrief, and John Brown
• The “WTF” Award goes to: The Detroit Lions for not selecting one of these star wide receivers to run opposite Calvin Johnson. Instead, they got TE Eric Ebron with the 10th overall pick ( 248 yards and 1 TD in 2014)……Kansas City Chiefs could share in this Award, as they have needed a 2nd receiver since the Eisenhower Era and some of these talented stars were still available in the 3rd round
• The “J J Watt” Award goes to: J J Watt. This guy is so incredible and such an impact player, that I decided that there should already be an Award named after him
• The “Stankey” Award goes to: TENN RB Bishop Sankey- 572 yards and only 2 TDs
• The “White Guys Can Run” Award goes to: GB WR Jordy Nelson: 19 receptions of 20+ yards and longest was an 80 yard TD reception (and I have yet to see this guy caught from behind by anyone)
• The “I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Wide Receivers” Award goes to: KC QB Alex Smith, who managed to go the entire 2014 season without throwing a single TD pass to a wide receiver. Other Awards the KC offense won were the “ZZZ-Z-Z-Z-Z” Award and the “Deacon Dunk” Award
• The “Ankles Look Like Cock Roaches To Me” Award goes to: Ndamukong Suh
• The “Drake Brees” Award goes to: Drew Brees: I don’t know who Drake Brees is, but then, I don’t know who that was playing for New Orleans, because it sure didn’t look like Drew Brees
• The “Trix are for Big Kids” Award goes to: the St. Louis special teams for their awesome kick returns, 2 pt conversions and fake punts. HC Jeff Fisher also won the “In Your Face” Award for sending out the 6 players at the ST L/WASH game coin flip, that he got in the RG3 trade.
• The “Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde” Award goes to: CINN QB Andy Dalton. He was all over the place, playing good, bad, good, bad, the entire 2014 season
• The “Oneders” Award goes to: OAK RB Latavius Murray: The buzz of the waiver wire after Week 12, Murray is filled with potential, but never had another week like the one week wonder vs the Chiefs (112 yards and 2 TDs on only 4 carries )
• The “I’d Have Lost That Bet” Award goes to: DAL RB DeMarco Murray. I was worried about his durability in Sept, and never thought he could hold up 16 games with his work load. 393 rushing attempts for 1845 yards ( Cowboys single-season rushing record ) -2261 total yards from scrimmage- Bravo!
• The “Jack Nicholson” Award goes to: IND RB Trent Richardson…..”As good as it’s going to get”….and it ain’t that good
• The “Miranda Rights” Award goes to: MINN RB A Peterson, BALT RB Ray Rice and SF Aldon Smith
• The “Band Aid” Award goes to: BUFF QB Kyle Orton…ex- BUFF QB Kyle Orton who has announced his retirement…..again…and now Buffalo has no QB…… again
• The “Wes Welker” Award goes to: Julian Edelman
and our final Award…..
• The “Johnny Immaturity” Award goes to: Johnny Manziel…who probably should be starring in “Animal House 2″ rather than another NFL game…at least until he grows up. (He can also take some share in WR Josh Gordon’s latest suspension)
We hope you enjoyed the show, and the entire 2014 NFL season. Can’t wait for the encore!